When I was a kid, I wanted to be the first woman President of the United States. My dad, in all earnestness, told me I could do that… Never mind that I was born in England. I’m not sure he ever said it exactly, but his message was clear: There is always a way.
I didn’t become the President (ditched the idea because law didn’t interest me) but I did become a therapist.
I was always that person… the friend you went to for advice, the shoulder you cried on. I was always sorting out my mom and my sister’s miscommunication. I could intuit what people really wanted, see a way out of their problems.
I’m often tempted to say I was just born with that ability because I can’t remember a time I didn’t have it or didn’t want to use it. But there’s a bigger and more important story there:
I was born with a congenital birth defect that made it near impossible to walk. It took a long time to diagnose and even longer to correct, so I spent my childhood in and out of hospitals, often without my parents. I grew up fast because of that, saw a lot of wounded kids, learned deep things about this world we live in. My intuition became a survival mechanism. (It helps to know if he’s going to be a nice doctor or a mean doctor.) All of it made me one of those “wise, old souls”, or so everyone called me.
It also made me super resourceful. My balance was (and still is) severely compromised and I wanted what I wanted, like to roller skate. My parents always supported what I wanted…
I just had to find a way. So I did!
But that’s only half the story.
Growing up, I used to watch my mom struggling with being “stuck”. She was born into war and a culture that taught her to be small and quiet. She always believed in my ability to find a way, but she never had the confidence to believe that for herself.
Experiencing, every day, the million different ways I could do and have what I wanted, while simultaneously watching my mother suffer under the thumb of her conditioning, a passionate belief grew in me:
Everyone has the ability to live the life they want. There is always a way. We just need someone who can help us find the path.
My mother didn’t have anyone like that in her life, even though she was that for me.
And I want to be that for you.
Here’s what it is: you have a map book. Already. You might not know you have it. You might not be in the habit of using it. And you might be missing a few key maps…But the map book is there.
And the room you feel stuck in, with the walls you keep bumping into, actually has a whole bunch of windows and doors.
My mission is to help you use those maps to find the windows and doors…so you can step through.
I’ve been a licensed therapist for 25 years, specializing in trauma and family systems but what I do now is even better. Not only do I honor, normalize, and support your growth like a therapist, but like a coach, I teach you immediately helpful techniques for finding, and moving toward, those windows and doors. You get the benefits of therapy with the practical tools to actually make your life better. (and I get to be more bossy!:))
It makes me profoundly sad to watch people, who want to move forward, suffer with being stuck. It makes me sad…and frustrated. Because I know there’s a way and know you have strength you’re not tapping into. Everything in my life has taught me that.
So here’s what I want to say to you:
Whatever it is you’re wanting-to go back to school, start a business, find love, take a risk…
You can do it. There is a way. And I will work as hard as you do to move yourself forward.